grrr...
frustrated today. i think i'm feeling "irritable" and "impatient."
my "social life" lately consists of sharing funny anecdotes with co-workers, pretending to be flattered by borderline sexual harassment at work, and going out drinking on my nights off.
as much as i love my kids, i often miss having adult conversation to come home to at the end of the day. the downside to being a single parent i guess. but there are upsides too. i get the bed to myself. and i can listen to whatever music i want. and if i decide to make a snack at 11:35 at night, i don't have to share...
*sigh*
but sometimes i think: "it would be nice to have someone to share this delicious grilled cheese sandwich with." and i always end up sleeping on "my side" of the bed anyway.
perhaps i'm just irritable because i've been "smoke free" for a week. yay! but it's times like this when i almost want to say fuck it all and have one.
but i won't. i'll just chew this delicious minty gum that tastes oh so good with a bottle of beer. ugh.
my horoscope for today says that my frustration comes from a lack of sleep or "romantic recreation." hahaha! that's a nice euphemism. let's "get right down to it." no "beating around the bush."
but really, i can take some comfort lately in the fact that i have been lucky to find the companionship that the universe has presented to me. and i've promised myself that whatever i decide to do i'm going to make it count for something. not saying that i'm going to find "mr. right" and live happily ever after. i'm just no longer going to stumble blindly into relationships that are built upon false pretenses. i should be mature enough by now to admit that maybe all i'm looking for right now is someone to smooch and cuddle with. and then go home to my own bed and my grilled cheese sandwiches.
and if my patience can win out over my emotional enthusiasm, then perhaps i'll end up having someone to torment with my sometimes questionable choice of music after all. :)
